| 1-1. |
Try arranging the following
sentences so that they make a paragraph. There is one best order; see if
you can discover it. Then go back over the sentences to find out why it
makes sense to put them in a certain order. Once you have drawn your
conclusions, compare your findings with the information in the answer
key. |
1. These writers can then focus and structure their
ideas as they prepare the content of a coherent paper.
2. They also hope, all too frequently, that by simply going back and making a
few corrections and changes, they can produce good writing.
3. Finally, there are those who list ideas in order to gather a body of
relevant information.
4. People approach the task of writing a composition in different ways.
5. Next, there are those who “just start writing.”
6. The blank page stifles their creative powers.
7. First of all, there are those who panic.
8. These writers often feel that they only lose time if they try to organize
their ideas first.
9. As a result, they find it difficult to get any words on paper.
10. The writers who follow the last of these approaches to the task are the
ones who most frequently attain their goal of creating an effective
composition.
11. They take time to think about their subject and write down everything that
comes to mind about it.
* * *
THE PARAGRAPH: A SHORT COMPOSITION
The preceding sentences, rearranged, form a short
composition on a very narrow topic. A point about such a limited topic
can be developed in a paragraph.
The topic sentence: topic + controlling idea
As you read through the sentences the first time, you
probably asked yourself, perhaps without realizing it, what they could be
about. As you went through the sentences, instinctively trying to
discover what they were about, you were actually looking for one of the
fundamental elements of the unit we call a paragraph: the topic.
A composition is about something, and the topic is the term we
use for what the writer is discussing in the composition. In other
words, the topic is what the writing is about.
Your second step in analyzing the sentences was
probably to look for what the writer was saying about the topic, in other
words, what statement, or assertion, was being made about the
topic. You were actually searching for the second fundamental
element of the paragraph: the controlling idea. We write in
order to make a statement about something, and controlling idea is the term we
use for the statement, or point, that the writer is making about
the topic of the composition.
| 10-1. |
Unscramble the following
three groups of words to make sentences. |
1. is best honesty the policy
2. cane and street a crossed the with went a into store man a
3. from hill fallen many the at barn the of top tree beyond had
the apples the
THE SUBJECT
As you looked at the scrambled sentences, you probably
asked yourself, perhaps without realizing it, what each group of words could
be about. In the first example, the sentence could have been about
“honesty” or about “policy,” the only words that name something.
The second group of words could have been about a “cane,” “street,”
“store,” or “man.” The third sentence could have been about a “hill,” a “barn,” a “tree,” “apples,” or a “top.”
One more possibility was the word “many,” which could be a pronoun
indicating many of something already mentioned.
In the process of instinctively going over the words in
each sentence to identify what the sentence was about, you were actually
looking for one of the fundamental parts of the group of words we call a
sentence: you were looking for the subject. The subject is
what a
sentence is about. It names what the writer is talking about.
THE VERB
Your second step in analyzing the scrambled sentences in
Exercise 10-1 was probably to look for what happened or what was being said
about the subject. In the first
example, because the sentence is so short, it is easy to identify “is” as
the word that can say something about something. In the second sentence, there are two words denoting actions:
“crossed” and “went.” Of
the four possible subjects, only the “man” would be likely to “cross”
something or “go” somewhere. Thus,
you were probably able to add the other fundamental part of the sentence, the verb,
to the subject. The verb in the
third sentence is “had fallen,” and the potential subject that most
obviously makes sense with it is “apples.”
In each sentence you tried to figure out what was being
said about the subject, in other words, what statement,
or point, was being made
about the subject. In the first
example, the writer is saying that “honesty is” something. In the second one, we are being told that the “man crossed”
something and “went” somewhere. In
the third sentence, what is being said about the “apples” is that they
“had fallen.”
The second fundamental part of a sentence is the
verb—the statement, (the point), that the writer
is making about the subject.
* * *
Thus, the logic of
the sentence and the longer composition is basically the same:
-
The writer has to be
talking about something. This
is the subject of the sentence and the topic of the paragraph or
essay.
-
The writer has to be saying something about that subject or topic.
This is the verb of the sentence and
the controlling
idea of the paragraph or essay.
-
The writer gives necessary or helpful additional information.
This is given in the form of modifiers
in the sentence and additional sentences in the paragraph or essay.
| 2-5. |
Consider the following short brainstorm list on the topic of the
depletion of our forests. Divide
the ideas into two groups for two separate compositions. |
1. restrict
the cutting of trees
2. impose
penalties for illegal cutting
3. protect
animal habitat
4. reduce
greenhouse effect
5. recycle
paper
6. employ
more people to plant seedlings
7. prevent
erosion
| 2-6. |
Which of the items in Exercise 2-5 develop the idea of
why something should
be done to stop the depletion of the forests? Which ones develop the idea of
how we can protect our
dwindling forests? |
Notice that if you were to write on the depletion of the
forests, you would want to focus on either why
we need to stop the damage or how
we can do so because a single
controlling idea does not go in these two separate directions.
Establishing the direction of a composition
Groups of related ideas can also help us determine the
direction
of a controlling idea. In Exercise
2-5, about the depletion of our forests, items 1, 2, 5, and 6 (“restrict the
cutting of trees,” “impose penalties for illegal cutting,” “recycle
paper,” and “employ more people to plant seedlings”) lead in the
direction of how we can protect our dwindling forests whereas items 3, 4, and 7
(“protect animal habitat,” “reduce greenhouse effect,” and “prevent
erosion”) explain why something
should be done to stop the depletion of the forests. The first group can be used for a composition on the ways to protect
our forests, with “can protect” as the controlling idea. The second is useful for a
different composition, one giving the reasons for taking action to protect our
forests, with “should protect” as
the controlling idea.
In other words, each group in Exercise 2-5 leads in a
particular direction. This
direction suggests both a controlling idea and the possible development of a
composition.
INTERPRETING MEANING: FACTS, OPINIONS, AND REASONED
JUDGMENTS
Do you believe the following assertions to be true?
1. There
will be daylight outside at noon tomorrow.
2. Joe,
who has A’s on all of the quizzes so far, is in a position to do very well
on the next quiz.
3. Carter
was a better president than Reagan.
4. The Mayflower made numerous trips across
the Atlantic Ocean.
5. There
will be more riots in our large cities in the future.
6. The
death penalty should be in force in every state.
For those statements in the list that you consider to be
true, try to identify your reasons for believing them.
The first assertion is one that nearly everyone would
readily agree with because what is stated seems obvious. Even during a heavy storm or an eclipse of the sun, there is some light
during the middle of the day.
The fourth assertion is also easy to accept as true.
There are abundant records to indicate that the Mayflower
brought the Pilgrims to what was later called Massachusetts and that the ship was afterwards used to bring African slaves across the
ocean.
These two assertions are statements of
fact, in other words,
statements of something that is indisputably true. A fact can be something obvious.
For
example, if the person sitting behind you says, “I am sitting behind you,”
this person is stating an obvious fact. Unquestionable
evidence, such as thoroughly confirmed scientific or historical data, can also
be the basis for a statement of fact.
The third assertion represents someone’s opinion.
There are several possible bases for this opinion. One basis might be a preference for a Democrat.
Another might be a simple preference for Carter as a person. Another debatable point is the choice of the word “better.”
This term is vague and subjective—different things are “better”
for different people. Even a
detailed analysis of the country’s situation under each president would not
quell disputes over this statement of opinion because people do not easily
agree on just what is good for the country.
The sixth assertion also expresses an opinion that is
highly debatable rather than convincing. Even
people who are basically in favor of the death penalty hotly dispute who
should be put to death. Moreover,
different individuals favor the death penalty for varying reasons. Some base their belief on the idea of “an eye for an eye,” a
concept that is usually associated with religion. Some believe that capital punishment deters crime.
Some voice the idea that only the death penalty gets dangerous
criminals off the streets permanently. Yet
others feel that repeat criminals who are simply sent back to prison do not
get the sense that they are being punished because for them, imprisonment is
“business as usual.” Only the
death penalty, therefore, is meaningful in these cases, these advocates of
capital punishment assert. Those
against the death penalty sometimes base their belief on a moral objection to
taking someone’s life. Others
believe that capital punishment encourages crime because it sends the message
to the public that it is all right to take a life. Some believe, as part of their religion, that only their god can take a
life. Furthermore, many persons on
both sides of the issue believe as they do primarily because a relative,
friend, or influential person voices a particular opinion. Finding objective, convincing support for the sixth assertion would
therefore be an extremely difficult task.
The second assertion shows something that represents a
probability rather than an actual fact. Past
successes tend to indicate the probability of future successes. Also, if the next quiz involves material and concepts covered on
previous quizzes, Joe should be in a position to do well. However, we still cannot simply accept the statement as unquestionably
true. The quiz might cover
something in which Joe is very weak. Also,
he might not be prepared for the quiz—or even take it—for a variety of
reasons. Our expectation
that Joe is in a position to do well is an example of a reasoned judgment.
But we cannot definitely state that he is in a position to do well.
The fifth assertion is similar.
We can reasonably expect riots in the cities because of serious
problems not yet solved. But we
cannot logically make a definite statement that there will be riots; we can
only make a strong case for the probability of future riots in our large
cities.
Conclusions based on reasoned reflection from different
perspectives, or points of view, are called reasoned judgments.
Are facts, opinions, and reasoned judgments all
appropriate in college writing? To get a clearer answer to this question, work
your way carefully through the next exercise.
TRANSITIONS
What do you understand from each of the following groups
of sentences?
1. People
who want to lose weight often exercise. They
usually do not actually lose unless they reduce their intake of fat.
2. The
children in the group were anxious to visit Disneyland. They were eager to see Universal
Studios.
3. The
children in the local elementary school district are currently doing several
projects on different kinds of pollution. They are learning important facts about the environment.
Your impression may well be that you understood very
little.
Each individual sentence in the preceding set of examples
makes a clear statement. But when
statements follow one another, how they
relate also needs to be clear. In
the first example, the important idea of a contrast
is missing. Compare
People who want to lose weight often exercise.
However, they
usually do not actually lose unless they reduce their intake of fat.
In the second example, another idea is added to the
statement before it. Compare
The children in the group were anxious to visit Disneyland. They were also eager to see Universal Studios.
In the third sample group, the important idea of a
result
has been omitted. Compare
The children in the local elementary school district are
currently doing several projects on different kinds of pollution. As a
result, they are learning important
facts about the environment.
Each individual sentence in the preceding set of examples
makes a clear statement. But when
statements follow one another, how they relate also needs to be clear. In
the first example, the important idea of a contrast
is missing. Compare
People who want to lose weight often exercise.
However, they
usually do not actually lose unless they reduce their intake of fat.
In the second example, another idea is
added to the
statement before it. Compare
The children in the group were anxious to visit Disneyland. They were also
eager to see Universal Studios.
In the third sample group, the important idea of a
result
has been omitted. Compare
The children in the local elementary school district are
currently doing several projects on different kinds of pollution. As a
result, they are learning important
facts about the environment.
OTHER TRANSITIONAL DEVICES
See if you can discover the
technique that helps the following paragraph to flow so coherently.
Dieters may at times seem ready to try almost anything to lose weight.
However, certain strategies seem especially helpful to weight watchers. Most people who want to lose pounds get good results by carefully
controlling their intake of calories and of fat. Also, many people on a diet have discovered that they can literally
walk pounds off. Finally, those
trying to lose weight get better results when they accept the fact that they
are simply going to have to change their habits and regulate their lives
accordingly.
If you did not find the four synonyms for “dieters,” go back through the paragraph and locate
them. Then compare the same
paragraph with “dieters” in all five places.
INTRODUCTIONS
Consider the following introductory paragraphs to short
essays. Are they effective
introductions?
Television came into existence around half a century ago.
Since then, it has been a part of everyday life. The difference between then and now is that television was a luxury.
Television provides an escape from the real world.
Every day in the newspapers we read about crimes committed by juvenile
offenders. These crimes range from
minor incidents of vandalism to felony offenses, including murder.
Try to imagine what you would be reading about in each
essay according to each of the preceding introductions. Can you tell what the writer’s point is in either case?
What, in your opinion, is the purpose of an
introduction at the beginning of a piece of writing? Why do we need one at all?
The first sample introduction obviously brings up a topic,
“television.” But the point
the writer is going to make about television in the essay is not clear at all.
Statements are made about television when it was first invented. Then there is a comment about what television does.
However, there is no direction
in the introduction, and therefore we really do not know what the essay will
develop.
The second introduction, unlike the first, seems to start
off in a particular direction. However,
the writer who states that crimes committed by juveniles “range” from
minor incidents to felonies is introducing the description of a large number
of crimes, material on which entire books are written. There is no indication of a specific point to be developed, so this
introductory paragraph also fails to accomplish the purpose of effectively
beginning a composition.
REVISING
Would you turn in the following paragraph to an English
instructor for a grade?
Movies today are only geared toward one thing.
Todays movies seem to only lean toward one idea, that idea is violence. No matter where one turns violence can be seen in any movie.
Films, like “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”, “Gremlins”, are blockbuster presentations, the whole plot is based
around violence. A person can not
critisize the producer’s for creating these films because this is what the
public is demanding, especially the younger generations. The teenagers of today are definetely the bread and butter of the film
industry. Todays theater’s have
become hangouts, and there are a very large volume of teenagers seeing these
films. I just wish there was a
different trend in films.
You probably would not expect a passing grade for the
above paragraph. Look it over
carefully to identify what changes need to be made. Then compare the following version.
Exactly what changes have been made? Is the paragraph effective in this form?
Movies today are geared toward only one thing.
Today’s movies seem to lean toward only one idea; that idea is
violence. No matter where one
turns, violence can be seen in any movie. Films like Indiana Jones and the
Temple of Doom and Gremlins are
blockbuster presentations. The
whole plot is based around violence. A
person cannot criticize the producers for creating these films because this
type of production is what people, especially the younger generations, are
demanding. The teenagers of today
are definitely the bread and butter of the film industry. Today’s theaters have become hangouts, and a very large number of
teenagers are seeing these films. I
just wish there were a different trend in films.
Did you notice that the only changes made were corrections
of the errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation? Did these corrections turn the paragraph into a satisfactory one?
There are still major problems with the paragraph. First and foremost, it does not have a controlling idea.
Rather than develop a point, the writer rambles on about the sad trend
toward violence in movies. Compare
the preceding paragraph with the one that follows.
WRITING CORRECT SENTENCES
Do any of the following “sentences” communicate
meaning effectively?
1. The
English drink tea the Germans drink beer.
2. Even
though the contestant knew the answer.
3. By
the way they went out.
4. Hanging
from the tree limb, we saw a bat.
5. There
is some apples in the fruit basket.
6. If
a person seems unprepared for an interview, you do not get the job.
7. He
likes camping, hunting, and to fish.
8. People
blame television for everything that is wrong in society and come to believe
it.
All of the above “sentences,” as you probably noticed,
are confusing. Actually, each one
contains an error that interferes with the communication of meaning. In the first one, a statement is made about the English, and another
statement, about the Germans, follows immediately, with no connection shown
between the two ideas. The second
example, by itself, does not make any statement, nor does the third, simply
because it is not correctly punctuated.
Example 4 communicates a meaning that is different from
the intended one because the words are not arranged properly. Numbers 5, 6, and 7 contain inconsistencies that interfere with
understanding. The last example
has an error in function that makes the meaning unclear.
MODIFIER ERRORS
What do the following sentences really state?
Lying under the coffee table, the instructor found her
missing red pen.
At the age of five, my mother was already teaching me to
play chess.
As they are written—and how we
communicate depends on how we write our sentences—the instructor is lying
under the coffee table in the first example, and the mother is only five years
old in the second.
Faulty parallelism
Consider the following example:
She likes coffee and dogs.
Why does it seem illogical?
Your reaction to this sentence may have been that coffee
and dogs do not go together. The
two words, as nouns, fit together grammatically, but there is still a logic
problem: ideas that we link with and need to be comparable,
going together both grammatically and logically. In other words, they need to be
parallel.
| 4-12. |
Are the following statements
convincing? |
1. In
1992, most of Los Angeles was destroyed in one day of rioting.
2. Proper
veterinary care helps eliminate pets that carry diseases.
3. Territory
is often the cause of war.
4. The
worst problem is the children who breathe second-hand smoke.
5. People
who have positive minds are not affected by violence on television.
6. Fast
foods are not as healthful as home-cooked meals.
7. Organized
shoppers always bring a list to the store.
8. A
used car costs around three or four thousand dollars.
9. We
can educate our children to be either open-minded or old fashioned.
10. He may
need surgery or a bypass.
11. A man who
has two dependents and a house payment cannot manage on a minimum-wage job.
12. The lack
of human compassion is at an all-time low.
All of these statements are illogical and therefore
unconvincing.
Most of Los Angeles obviously was not destroyed in the 1992 riots. Even though there was extensive damage, most of the city did not suffer
damage. This statement is an
exaggeration.
The second assertion is also erroneous. Proper veterinary care is not supposed to eliminate “pets,” but
rather their diseases. The statement should be worded accordingly.
Proper veterinary care helps eliminate the diseases that
pets carry.
In the third, we have the statement that “territory is
the cause” of war. But the
territory itself does not cause war; it is the dispute
over the territory that brings about the conflict.
A dispute over territory is often the cause of war.
The problem in the fourth sentence is a similar one.
The problem is not the children but the fact that they breathe the
smoke.
The worst problem is that children breathe the second-hand
smoke.
The fifth statement is a generalization that is
inaccurate. Many people with
positive minds are still affected a great deal by the violence on television.
The problem in item 6 is similar. Many
home-cooked foods are unhealthful. A
much more specific statement needs to be made in both cases.
Organized shoppers, in the next assertion, always bring a
list. In reality, they may not always
do anything. Nor do used cars
generally cost around three or four thousand dollars, as the next sentence
states. Their prices actually vary
tremendously.
The writer of statement number nine is giving us only two
alternatives for raising children. Apart
from the ambiguity of the terms, there are also other ways of raising
children.
Number ten is faulty because “or” is joining
“surgery” with “bypass,” which is a type of surgery, not an
alternative to it.
The eleventh statement is inappropriate because the
underlying assumption is that a woman does not have the problem. A “person” should be substituted for a “man.”
The last assertion is also faulty. The “lack” of something cannot be at an all-time “low.”
A statement needs to make sense. In other words, the elements that we put together as a sentence must
fit together logically. There are
several specific strategies you can follow to test the logic of your
sentences.
Shifts
Each of the following sentences has a logic problem.
When a person goes to the store, you should count your
change.
The thief raced downstairs in his attempt to escape and
runs right into the detective.
When tourists go to San Francisco, public transportation is frequently used by them.
In the first example, the same
individual is referred to as a “person” and “you.”
In the second, the time is established as past
by the verb “raced”; then the time is changed, without reason, to the
present (“runs”). In the
third, the focus needlessly shifts from the “tourists” to “public
transportation.” We can express
each of these thoughts consistently, as follows:
People who go to the store should count their change.
The thief raced downstairs in his attempt to escape and
ran right into the detective.
When tourists go to San Francisco, they frequently use public transportation.